Why do I feel BAD ???

Okay I have been pondering about this for some time now, I mean some time for sure. My Wife just wonders why I never do anything, I work and just sit at home, I wonder about her too, I moved her back down here to be close to her Mom but also her friends, she does have some friends and does once in awhile go to the girls and have time with them.. I always say to her I have no friends and she gets mad and says I do too.. Well its not like I go over and play cards with them or go out and have a drink with them so you know how I feel, I know their my wifes friends and they like me because they have too hehehehehe no really I do like my Wifes friends.

It use to be fun when we did go out and get away from homelife but things happen and some friends are now well uhhhh you know who I be talking about, we would always go over to their house there on uhh 9th street I think well anyway we never go there now and I still feel like I am the outsider down here, why? I don't really know anyone or really have anyone I can call and say hey lets go do something, so I just spend all my time at home which to me is fine, I am turnin into my Mom and never leave the house hehehehe well thats a story in itself but lets talk about me instead of my Mom.... which I never hear from them like I did all my life, since I been married I feel like since baby I really never do hear from my family so yeah guess you can say I feel alone, I feel left out in a way from my own family anyway.

My wife I want to be happy and stuff and I try everything to make her happy, her blog says different but I do try, I work my ass off and I try to be the man of the house and I want her to go spend time with her friends and get out of the rut at home so I let her be Mrs D and as long as she is happy, I really am fine, I don't need to have friends to be happy, I can just play solitaire on the computer hehehehehe, would be nice to have get togethers and stuff, play card or just have an orgy hehehehe I meant something else really but I did make you laugh , you know what I mean I hope, you do don't you???????

Well I feel bad, this man who is older by a year works with me there at the factory has recorded a fighting match and wanted a guys night to watch the match and have a few beers, he is married and has 3 kids and owns his own home and just lives like a few streets over. well he invited me over to this guys night out and said it would be nice if I came over and visited, I know now that he invited all the dudes at work and some of them are planned to be there, Like chad and hehehehe well he is kewl for a kid but there should be more adults than anything and said 10 to 12 people should be there or maybe even more not sure but now I asked my wife if I could go, I should of just said I am going out stay home and clean hehehehehe no I asked and she said to go...

Well I feel bad for wanting to go and I feel like I should just stay home and spend time with my baby and spank my wife after baby is asleep but then I really don't want to miss out on the guy thing, no strippers or nothing just a get together , damn I feel so bad and not sure if I will go now, I don't really need friends because then everytime I go do something with them I feel I am cheating my baby out of time with her daddy, how do you people cope with having friends, it was nice when I lived long ago and all I had was time to spend with friends from work, I was 22 and working and the whole crew from the sawmill would go for beer after work and get together for holidays and it was fun, but I am a family man now and home is where I should be.

So now that thats settled I go get my wife up she has to go to a job interview and its like 20 minutes till seven and she needs to get her ass up out of bed damn it, I am the man I rule this house, ohhh uhhhh yes dear I took out the trash this mornin hehehehe see I really am not in charge.