Why do I feel BAD ???

Okay I have been pondering about this for some time now, I mean some time for sure. My Wife just wonders why I never do anything, I work and just sit at home, I wonder about her too, I moved her back down here to be close to her Mom but also her friends, she does have some friends and does once in awhile go to the girls and have time with them.. I always say to her I have no friends and she gets mad and says I do too.. Well its not like I go over and play cards with them or go out and have a drink with them so you know how I feel, I know their my wifes friends and they like me because they have too hehehehehe no really I do like my Wifes friends.

It use to be fun when we did go out and get away from homelife but things happen and some friends are now well uhhhh you know who I be talking about, we would always go over to their house there on uhh 9th street I think well anyway we never go there now and I still feel like I am the outsider down here, why? I don't really know anyone or really have anyone I can call and say hey lets go do something, so I just spend all my time at home which to me is fine, I am turnin into my Mom and never leave the house hehehehe well thats a story in itself but lets talk about me instead of my Mom.... which I never hear from them like I did all my life, since I been married I feel like since baby I really never do hear from my family so yeah guess you can say I feel alone, I feel left out in a way from my own family anyway.

My wife I want to be happy and stuff and I try everything to make her happy, her blog says different but I do try, I work my ass off and I try to be the man of the house and I want her to go spend time with her friends and get out of the rut at home so I let her be Mrs D and as long as she is happy, I really am fine, I don't need to have friends to be happy, I can just play solitaire on the computer hehehehehe, would be nice to have get togethers and stuff, play card or just have an orgy hehehehe I meant something else really but I did make you laugh , you know what I mean I hope, you do don't you???????

Well I feel bad, this man who is older by a year works with me there at the factory has recorded a fighting match and wanted a guys night to watch the match and have a few beers, he is married and has 3 kids and owns his own home and just lives like a few streets over. well he invited me over to this guys night out and said it would be nice if I came over and visited, I know now that he invited all the dudes at work and some of them are planned to be there, Like chad and hehehehe well he is kewl for a kid but there should be more adults than anything and said 10 to 12 people should be there or maybe even more not sure but now I asked my wife if I could go, I should of just said I am going out stay home and clean hehehehehe no I asked and she said to go...

Well I feel bad for wanting to go and I feel like I should just stay home and spend time with my baby and spank my wife after baby is asleep but then I really don't want to miss out on the guy thing, no strippers or nothing just a get together , damn I feel so bad and not sure if I will go now, I don't really need friends because then everytime I go do something with them I feel I am cheating my baby out of time with her daddy, how do you people cope with having friends, it was nice when I lived long ago and all I had was time to spend with friends from work, I was 22 and working and the whole crew from the sawmill would go for beer after work and get together for holidays and it was fun, but I am a family man now and home is where I should be.

So now that thats settled I go get my wife up she has to go to a job interview and its like 20 minutes till seven and she needs to get her ass up out of bed damn it, I am the man I rule this house, ohhh uhhhh yes dear I took out the trash this mornin hehehehe see I really am not in charge.

Yeah just call me a loser....

Well when I first started working on August 1st of this year I weighed in at 312 pounds on the scale at work, its a really kewl digital scale they use at work, it is a really nice platform and goes down to hundreths of a pound so I figure its good. So I decided to check myself last night, ohhhh I thought it was going to be like 295 or something but it showed me at 272, so guess thats good, only thing is I don't see where, I still got a trucker belly, but I think I can see more of my willie hehehehehe well its so small that if I see any well its a good thing.

So if my math is correct I lost 40 pounds in 3 and a half months, because when I did the stress test I was like 320 pounds and felt like shit, I wish I could get down to around 240 or 230, I feel really good around 230, 200 would be like perfect but that would take a long time, I was watching my discovery channel stuff and learned that you loose fat through your urine, yup the fat breaks down and flushes out in yer pee pee, so they say..... so damn I must of pissed alot of myself away... so guess you can say I am a loser.....or maybe just say I lost it, sounds better.

Oh for you women out there, they also said in this show I watched that men loose weight faster than women because of genetics, men have more muscle mass and can burn burn burn the fat away and it really pisses off the women, so they say anyway just thought I would share the info.

Tis The Season to be ......WTF'd

Yeah been awhile since I have blogged, so what , who cares anyhow?? Anyway its always nice to be broke at this time of year, yeah work has been busy and now that I am full time I got insurance, so this means they deduct it from my check which is now going to be smaller, they cut my hours so now I can barely afford rent, might have to go to the foodbank and beg. So you ask what am I doing for xmas, well I just might turn into a great big asshole and shit on you.

So now I can say I blogged.......

Uhhhhh yeah its blog day....

Alot has been going on and its not nice to blog about work ifs its gone to hell so I will post a picture of my cute baby K to make you all smile......

Happy birthday Baby K, (daddy's little girl)

After reading what my wife wrote in her blog and after looking at pictures and just seeing Baby K now, just so big and full of life I feel like crying, Today is a special day for the litttle one, I wan't to wish her the happiest birthday today and just can't wait to see her when she gets out of bed, I know I should be sleeping but I need to be here to help the wife today and I just can't wait till Baby K gets up out of bed, just want to squeeze her and let her know Daddy loves his little Baby K.

Maybe I should not post today.....

I am so pissed off at work today, I got nothing nice to say so maybe I won't post. I should be in bed getting a nap before the big day today but I am so pissed off at everyone that I could not sleep anyway, well today got to be a happy day, its a big day.

I am sick of being so sick...

Yes I came home after work and its friday mornin, I did not do my usual routine, I just got undressed and crawled into be, 36 hours later I was able to get up and be mobile and last night I went to work and whew I made it.

I felt sick at the end of my shift and just sat in the parking lot at work till I was able to drive, I laid in bed and asked my sweet wife to grab an extra blanket and I slepted, She called work for me and everything.

but then she with baby and her mom and did some shopping in Idaho then baby and the dog went home to grammies and the wife did a scrapbook nite, so it was good because it was quiet and no one can hear me moan and scream all night hehehehe.

I tried to get up that night and all the walls were like distorted and I could not keep my balance, next day wife came home to check up on me and I was still in bed, later that day I tried to get up to go to work and got in the shower and could not make it more than a minute, I shut it off and layed on towel on the bed.

I felt much better last night when I went to work , it still was hard, the 12 hours of hard work did some good, I got my blood flowing after all that stuff, one time I woke up and tried to get up but everything was in black and white no color at all so I just laid back down, so glad not to be down like that now so here I am blogging, wish I had good news to blog about but the wife now beat me to it, hehehehehe well she loves me still and thats all that matters.... I hate to miss work, we can't afford it if I miss but that was just toooo much to try to work like that....